It now seems to be considered a hostile act for a store owner to put up a sign asking small children to use their "indoor voices." People are outraged that the owner of one cafe in Chicago would dare to do so. They seem to think that everyone should just put up with screaming, ill-behaved children and that it is the height of rudeness to indicate otherwise.

The owner of A Taste of Heaven, Dan McCauley, said he posted the sign -- at child level, with playful handprints -- in the hope of quieting his tin-ceilinged cafe, where toddlers have been known to sprawl between tables and hurl themselves at display cases for sport.

But many neighborhood mothers took umbrage at the implied criticism of how they handle their children. Soon, whispers of a boycott passed among the playgroups in this North Side hamlet, once an outpost of edgy artists and hip gay couples but now a hot real estate market for young professional families shunning the suburbs.

"I love people who don't have children who tell you how to parent," said Alison Miller, 35, a psychologist, corporate coach and mother of two. "I'd love for him to be responsible for three children for the next year and see if he can control the volume of their voices every minute of the day."

McCauley, 44, said the protesting parents are "former cheerleaders and beauty queens" who "have a very strong sense of entitlement." In an open letter to the community, he warned of an "epidemic" of anti-social behavior.

"Part of parenting skills is teaching kids they behave differently in a restaurant than they do on the playground," McCauley said. "If you send out positive energy, positive energy returns to you. If you send out energy that says I'm the only one that matters, it's going to be a pretty chaotic world."

Any parent knows that there comes a time when a child will misbehave in public. The question is how the parents decide to deal with that child. These parents seem to believe that they are helpless before the will of their children. Apparently, they are. If you let your children know right away that such behavior is unacceptable, they will learn how to behave in public. And, if the child is too young, then it is the parent's responsibility to take the baby outside for soothing. I can remember countless such moments when my husband or myself would walk the baby when she started crying in a restaurant. I would never have thought that it was my right to inflict my screaming child on other patrons in a cafe. If this is their attitude to their children when they're small, I shudder to think of the problems they will have when the kids are older. I think I've taught some of their children.

For some practical advice, I recommend Betsy Hart's new book, It Takes a Parent. She argues the common sense, but seemingly novel thesis, that it is time for parents to act like parents again.