If you sometimes wonder if celebrities are different than me and thee, take a look at the names they inflict on their helpless infants. The latest is Nicholas Cage, an actor I enjoy, who named is baby son Kal-el, as in Superman's Kryptonite name. Geesh.

And he follows in a long line of weird names that celebrities have chosen.

Celebrities didn't always choose goofy names for their children. Robert Alda named his son Alan, John Raitt called his daughter Bonnie and Robert Downey took the easy path and named his son Robert, though to be fair he did add a "Junior" to the end. But that's not the case anymore. After Frank Zappa decided to name his kids Dweezil and Moon Unit, the floodgates opened. Sylvester Stallone named his son Sage Moonblood. Not to be outdone in the pseudo-Indian naming contest, John Mellencamp (who should've known better because he once used the embarrassing stage name "John Cougar") came up with Speck Wildhorse. Gee, what ever happened to plain old Tonto?

Gwyneth Paltrow gave birth to Apple, Christie Brinkley chose Sailor and Demi and Bruce take turns parenting Rumer Glenn, Scout LaRue and Tallulah Belle.

It's possible that stars do this more than us mere mortals because they want to make sure their children stand apart from mom or dad's celebrity shadow, but is that any excuse to name your daughter Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, as the late singer Michael Hutchence did, or Fifi Trixabelle, like Bob Geldof? At least those girls can sleep well knowing they weren't named Tu, like actor Rob Morrow's daughter. You know, as in Tu Morrow.

Actually, strange names are nothing new. Recently, officials at the Cornwall Record Office in England searched through birth, death and marriage records dating as far back as the 16th century and found Abraham Thunderwolff, Freke Dorothy Fluck Lane, Philadelphia Bunnyface and Offspring Gurney.

Suddenly the name Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Hutchence doesn't sound so bad.

Nope, it still does.