I have been reading Betsy Hart's new book, It Takes a Parent: How the Culture of Pushover Parenting is Hurting Our Kids -- and What to Do About It. This book is full of such common sense about raising children from the syndicated columnist. I heartily recommend it to anyone with children. I wish that the parents of some of the problem students I've had in my lifetime had read this book before their kids got to my classroom. Her chapter on the 'self-delusion of self esteem explaining how parents can actually be making their kids more fragile and less willing to to improve by constantly praising them is worth the cost alone. She explodes the commonly-heard aphorism that you should "criticize the behavior, not the child." As she points out, if a child does something noble such as standing up to bullies who are teasing his friend, we believe that that is evidence of the child's good heart, so why should that a child's cruel or nasty behavior is separate from the child's own character. And then she gives some advice from her own experience as a mother, mistakes and all, on how to guide them and mold their behavior.

If you have a friends who are expecting a child, this would be a great book to give them. It's full of good sense and a good counter to some of the sappy parenting advice that is out there all over the place.

Here's an interview with Betsy Hart about her book. You can get a feeling for her approach to parenting.

NRO: Aren't all parents pushovers to some degree? When/how did it become a problem?

Hart: Sure — we’re crazy about our kids. Every one of us gives into them, does something for them, or caters to them at some point when we know we probably shouldn’t. That’s hardly the end of the world. I’m just asking us parents to think about what’s the pattern and principle and expectation — and what’s the exception — in our homes.

It’s become more of a problem as we’ve come to idolize and idealize our kids over the last few generations. That’s thanks largely to the “parenting experts” who try to convince us, all evidence to the contrary, that children are born wise and selfless needing only parental cheerleading and encouragement, not a parent’s direction and authority.