Friday, January 28, 2005

The Times of London spoofs Hillary Clinton's move to the right.
The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
September 15, 2005

At a public ceremony near Waco, Texas, Senator Clinton was received yesterday into full communion with the Church of Jesus Christ of the Repenting Transgressors.

As her sponsors, the Rev Jerry Falwell and the Rev Pat Robertson looked on lovingly, the New York senator was fully immersed in the swirling waters of the Brazos River. A gospel choir sang a collection of spiritual hymns, including, Lo, the Yankee Queen In Bright Array, Rises and It Takes a Village to Smite the Evil.

Mr Falwell welcomed Mrs Clinton, dressed in a white toga, as a reformed sister in the family of former sinners.

“Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Voter,” he said. “The prodigal daughter has come home to the Lord! The sheep that was lost is found.”

Mrs Clinton has recently been reaching out beyond the Democratic Party’s core supporters on religious values. At a news conference after the baptismal ceremony, Mrs Clinton announced that she is to begin hosting a television show next month on Mr Robertson’s Christian Broadcasting Network. Cookies for Christ will feature her favourite housewife recipes for spiritually appropriate confectionery, including Rock Cakes of Ages and Apocalypse Apple Fritters.

Read the rest. It's worthy of Scrappleface. (Link via Political Man)

Speaking of Scrappleface, here's a great spoof of Kennedy's speech. I don't know how Scott Ott does it day after day.
Kennedy: U.S. Troops Restrict Al Qaeda Civil Rights
by Scott Ott

(2005-01-28) -- The U.S. occupation force in Iraq is placing unconstitutional restrictions on the free speech rights of Al Qaeda and former members of Saddam Hussein's Ba'ath party, according to Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, D-MA, who today introduced a resolution expressing "solidarity with our repressed brethren in the Iraq insurgency."

"Just as in our country, flag burning and pornography distribution are the most sacred of forms of protected speech, so in Iraq legitimate car-bombings and beheadings must be protected as political expression," said Mr. Kennedy. "The Bush administration is clearly trying to deny these Iraqis, and their foreign guests, their basic civil rights. This is the most insidious brand of cultural and religious discrimination."

The Senator said he's hopeful that "after the Iraqi people exercise civil disobedience by boycotting this week's national election sham, U.S. forces will immediately pull out so that this sovereign nation can restore the free marketplace of ideas in political discourse -- no matter how incendiary the ideas, no matter how sharp the discourse."

In a direct address to Iraqi insurgents, the Massachusetts Senator added, "Speak truth to power, my brothers."