Here's Lileks on the Democratic field.

John F. Kerry: He may indeed be better than the rest of us, but he could work harder at keeping the fact concealed. Might face heat this week as union members learn his fund-raising connections to Susie Buell, co-founder of the French-sounding Esprit clothing line. Esprit has been accused of using sweatshop labor, and you know what that suggests: Kerry personally believes that all garment workers should make 6 cents an hour and be thrashed with bamboo sticks when their pace slackens.

Of course, it means no such thing, but when Republicans dine at the same restaurant as someone accused of unfair labor practices, they're accused of going back in time to start the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire.

-- John Edwards: Well let me tell you 'bout the way he walks, the way he acts and the color of his hair. His voice is soft and cool; his eyes are clear and bright, but he's not there.

-- Joe Lieberman: Dull, earnest, always sounds like he's trying to pass a stone. Not a chance, you say? According to a recent South Carolina poll, 13 percent of Democratic voters prefer Joe, as opposed to 4 percent for Howard "Two Covers" Dean.